“Truly a match made in heaven.” – Luo Shi
“Amazing, I really want one too.” – Yin Shi
“…” – Fan Tong
When it was time to go to school the next morning, Fan Tong and Yue Tui both got out of bed on time. Zhu Sha, however, still slept soundly in bed. Perhaps he’d stayed up too late waiting for Yue Tui last night. With this situation, Fan Tong and Yue Tui looked at each other in dismay.
“What should we do?”
“He said before that we better not bother him when he’s sleeping…”
When they’d first met, Zhu Sha had made this clear to them. Because he had specifically warned them of this matter, it’d be better to follow his request.
It’s just that, Zhu Sha is a hardworking student who takes learning very seriously. Letting him oversleep and miss classes like that, will he be angry with us…?
“Should we wake him up?”
Yue Tui seemed a bit conflicted.
“Who should do it?”
Fan Tong didn’t want to try. Zhu Sha already had some complaints about him. If Fan Tong also disturbed his sleep, Zhu Sha might even give him a good beating.
“…Let’s just respect his warning. Don’t wake him up.”
Yue Tui didn’t have the courage to wake him up either, so the two decided to go to school by themselves. There’s still a good chance they would run into robbers today, though. What should they do?
“I’ll also carry the items this time. Those people are primarily targeting me.”
Yue Tui made his decision about how to deal with the robbers.
“There’s nothing wrong with my body today, so I will deal with this. Fan Tong, you should just… stay away from me.”
His decision really made Fan Tong unhappy. Having to walk separately and pretend to not know each other despite leaving the house together, just thinking about it made him uncomfortable.
“Yue Tui, tomorrow, you…”
Fan Tong wanted to ask him about what happened yesterday, but he said “tomorrow” instead.
“…? Tomorrow? Is something the matter?”
No, nothing. Saying “tomorrow” makes it sound like I’m trying to go out with him, what the…
Stepping down the stairs, they noticed a disturbance in front of the dorm. Walking out, they saw the reason: Luo Shi and Yin Shi were standing at the doorway.
Luo Shi and Yin Shi…..? No matter how much you look at it, they don’t seem to be people that’d walk together?
“Yue Tui, Fan Tong!”
After Luo Shi caught sight of them, he promptly called out their names. Since they were summoned, the two immediately walked towards Luo Shi.
“Luo Shi, you were waiting for us?”
Yue Tui looked at Luo Shi and asked, slightly amazed.
“I… I definitely am not here specifically to wait for you, it’s just that I was coincidentally passing by… it’s just that Yin Shi said he wanted to come, so I thought I might as well come along!”
In response to Yue Tui’s question, Luo Shi immediately launched into a flustered and slightly awkward denial.
“Xiao Luo Shi, you also know them, huh? How strange.”
Yin Shi approached them, asking in an amazed tone of voice.
Lord Yin Shi, could I trouble you to stand a bit farther away? Don’t come any closer. So, so radiant – Being so handsome for no apparent reason, are you trying to become the enemy of all men? Also, after you came towards us, the number of gazes focusing on us instantly multiplied exponentially. What intense pressure…
“The fact that you know them is even stranger!”
Luo Shi looked at Yin Shi incredulously. Fan Tong completely approved of his opinion.
“Nn? They’re friends of Xiao Rou, so they’re my friends too, you know, though I only have a faint impression of a certain person among them. Since that person showed up together with them, I’m probably correct, aren’t I?”
Forgive me, is it wrong to look so plain? The person you only have a faint impression of is me, isn’t it? After running me over once and striking me with lightning once, you still don’t remember me? Exactly what do you want me to do?
“Ah, I remember now.”
Yin Shi clapped his hands, looking happy for remembering it.
“Why have you recovered from your injury already? Could it be that you died in the end?”
…Don’t ask this question like it’s something as casual as, “Did you eat dinner already,” okay? I’d rather you didn’t remember me. Also, don’t jinx me.
“What did you do to him?”
Upon hearing that, Luo Shi immediately questioned Yin Shi accusingly. His face revealed that he knew at once that it was Yin Shi’s fault without even asking. It seemed like he truly understood Yin Shi.
“Ah! Xiao Rou! I was suffering immensely while waiting for you!”
Just then, Xiao Rou walked out of the dorm. Yin Shi immediately ignored Luo Shi and greeted Bi Rou.
“Ah! Yin Shi!”
Bi Rou seemed pleasantly surprised to see Yin Shi. A beautiful smile blossomed on her face.
“Xiao Rou, I missed you so much, give me a hug.”
Stop this! Don’t act all lovey-dovey in front of the dorm! Lord Ling Shi, where are you?! Hurry up and break up this disrespectful duo!
“What’s happening to this world…”
Luo Shi seemed stunned at seeing such an unbelievable event. He’d just found out that the one Yin Shi was waiting for was a girl.
“There’s no way Yin Shi would have a lover, right? Being such an idiot and all.”
His words really hit the nail on the head.
“Xiao Rou, I’ll take you to class.”
“Yin Shi, you’re not busy?”
“Ah, I’m a little busy, but I’m so bored, and I miss you so much. Last time, that old man was able to spend more time than I did with you, and I’m not happy about it.”
“I miss you so much too. Next time, let’s go kill chickens again.”
Cough! If you want to talk, do it a bit farther apart from each other! Don’t glue yourselves together like that! …Anyways, if you’re going to kill chickens, just remember to bring us with you.
Everyone watching the commotion, either directly from the dorm gates or by peeking through the windows upstairs, gaped with jaws wide open. This was definitely the juiciest piece of gossip lately – Lord Yin Shi has a lover, and that lover is a Western girl.
Such an explosive piece of gossip would probably have spread throughout Eastern City by noon, right? If I’d known this earlier, I would have sold it to Mi Zhong and made some money first.
“Xiao Luo Shi, I’m going to leave first with Xiao Rou. Don’t let yourself be bullied.”
So you finally remembered that Luo Shi exists, huh?
“Who would bully me?”
Luo Shi rebutted with a sour expression on his face.
“Because Xiao Luo Shi is cute like a girl, so…”
“You can get lost now.”
Oh, Luo Shi, your words speak my heart.
Bi Rou tugged on Yin Shi’s hand, and they left happily. As she did so, Bi Rou noticed the others and waved. Not being completely ignored was truly touching…
“Do you have free time today after school?”
Luo Shi had personally waited for them in front of the dorm, so of course there’s a reason. Yin Shi had already left, so he should get down to business too.
So you want to arrange to meet again? Are we going out to eat? Fine with me. That’s great.
Yue Tui answered in Fan Tong’s place. Anyways, if he was free, Fan Tong was also free. They had similar schedules.
“Let’s meet in front of the school again. I’ll bring you guys out to buy weapons.”
Probably because both of them were so surprised, Luo Shi felt embarrassed and promptly looked for another explanation.
“You were robbed yesterday, and I also heard that you were bullied in Resource Area 1 before, so… I think that, if you have weapons, they would be of some help…”
Luo Shi, you’re really such a kind-hearted kid. You’re obviously doing this out of the goodness of your heart, so there’s no need to be so shy about it.
Yue Tui propped his chin in his hand as he assessed the situation, and then glanced at Fan Tong.
“His offer sounds pretty good, maybe?”
Hey, why did you look at me before you said that? You think that I’m the only person who needs it, and you don’t, is that right?
To Fan Tong, money was the important thing. Even if he was taken to a weapon store, he couldn’t buy anything without money.
“I can pay for you. You can just pay me back later.”
Luo Shi decided to lend them money, recognizing that he’d probably injure their pride if he footed the bill. This way, it was less embarrassing for them.
I still owe you five strings, you know. Isn’t it bad for me to owe you more and more? What’s the approximate price for a weapon anyways? Are you certain that I’ll be able to earn that much money?
“Then, meet me at the school gates after school. Don’t forget.”
“Okay, thank you.”
Yue Tui was as polite as ever, but instead of being excited at the thought of owning a weapon, Fan Tong was more concerned about whether or not Luo Shi would invite them to eat again afterwards.
Before they left, Luo Shi kindly allowed them to leave their skins and feathers at his place for safekeeping, so they felt much more relieved walking to school today.
During the morning Shufa Xuan class, Fan Tong spent the entire time napping. Blind Teacher’s judgment was actually very accurate — Fan Tong really didn’t have a gift for Shufa. He didn’t understand a single thing taught in class. Compared to the person sitting next to him, Yue Tui, a genius found only once in a hundred years, he was as different as night and day. Watching Yue Tui learn more interesting Shufa, Fan Tong was immensely depressed inside.
“You don’t need to come to class, you know. Sitting in the classroom will just be a waste of time, student Fan Tong.”
As a good role model, don’t say that kind of thing, okay? Be careful or I’ll change your nickname to Poison Tongued Teacher, all right?
“It’s impossible for someone with no imagination to grasp the concept. Attending more classes won’t help.”
Could it be that his original world hampered his imagination so much that he lost his talent? Was it a problem that he’d known Santa Claus wasn’t real as a little kid? Was it wrong to recognize the cruelty of reality too early? Even he too curled up under the blankets before, so afraid of that he couldn’t sleep, okay?
This has nothing to do with Peter Pan! I can’t accept this!
“Yue Tui, what exactly is a pure imagination?”
Since Yue Tui was so talented at Shufa, asking him was probably the fastest.
Yue Tui was noticeably perplexed when he was asked this question.
“I also don’t know how to describe it… maybe it’s like, being able to imagine that public rations are actually very delicious. Something like that…?”
If that was the case, Zhu Sha would definitely be more talented than you. I forgot that geniuses aren’t necessarily good at teaching, my bad.
“Oh, it’s similar to understanding every creature and object around you, and taking in every event and feeling as if you actually experienced it. That might be a better explanation.”
That sounds even more abstract to me. In your original example, I could still understand why there won’t ever be hope for me, but what does it mean to feel everything as if I experienced it or to understand every creature and thing?
“I don’t get it. How do you understand and feel as if something has actually happened to you after you’ve experienced it?”
“What you said seems a bit complicated. Are you saying that, even after you’ve experienced something, you’re still unable to understand it? Then… most likely there really is no hope for you, Fan Tong. It’s happened to you, but you still can’t feel it? What does that even…”
I was saying that, if you’d never experienced it, how can you feel like you did… If I’ve never had a girlfriend, how would I know what it feels like to have a girlfriend? I’ve never been a millionaire, so how would I know what kind of thoughts will rise up in me while holding three thousand strings?
“Fan Tong, try to imagine putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. It’s okay even if what you imagine isn’t necessarily correct.”
Yue Tui tried to explain the so-called pure imagination, but after Fan Tong tried it a few times and forced his mind to the limit, he gave up in the end.
Was he the kind of person who supposedly has no dreams, but just says that he does?
“Don’t be too sad. Fan Tong, you’re learning Fuzhou quite well.”
Fan Tong silently accepted Yue Tui’s attempt to console him. In Fuzhou class later this afternoon, they would learn how to use Fuzhou energy and officially put their Fuzhou to use. Fan Tong was actually looking forward to this.
Even though they’d attended class for a few days, they still frequently went the wrong way or couldn’t find the Fuzhou classroom. Sometimes they got lucky and found the classroom, which even made them happy for half the day. Generally, when they couldn’t find the classroom, they asked others for help. Luckily, friendly students still existed, and if they asked around, there were always people willing to give them directions.
Of course, Fan Tong and Yue Tui didn’t want to be late for their first lesson on Fuzhou energy. In any case, they ditched lunch and got to class extremely early, sitting properly in their seats until the teacher arrived. The class then began a while later.
Normal Teacher first explained the directions and rules of Fuzhou energy – how to interact with and cultivate it. At this point, Fan Tong still felt that everything was going well. The lecture was understandable, and he really did perceive a peculiar power pulsing within his body.
Following that was an explanation about how to output Fuzhou energy from the body and transmit it to objects. The so-called objects included charms, Fuzhou communication charms, etc. Synchronizing Fuzhou energy and the charm was also an art form. After finishing the preliminary teachings, Normal Teacher promptly took out a stack of Driven Fire charms that had been prepared ahead of time and passed three to each student, letting everyone try activating it.
It wasn’t proper to perform this kind of test in the classroom, so Normal Teacher promptly brought everyone to an area specifically created for Fuzhou Xuan. Everyone could freely set off this kind of low level Fuzhou without being afraid of damaging the area. The students immediately began trying out the Fuzhou one by one.
Holding the Fuzhou in his hand, Fan Tong was brimming with confidence. He faced the space in front of him, sent Fuzhou energy into the Fuzhou, and then threw it.
The Fuzhou he cast into the air turned into a worthless piece of paper instantly and drifted to the ground.
Fan Tong’s expression looked terribly bad.
Yue Tui didn’t understand what Fan Tong was doing. Fan Tong had definitely listened carefully to the teacher’s explanation a moment ago.
“I didn’t know…”
I was saying that I know. Dammit! I’d completely forgotten that I also needed to call out the charm’s proper name! I’m ruined, my life is already ruined…
“It’s all right. Now you know, so why don’t you try again. You still have two charms.”
It’s no use, you know – I already knew that it was a charm for Yu Huo Zhou —
And just like this, Fan Tong’s dream of becoming a Fuzhou expert shattered to pieces. Yue Tui’s grasp of Fuzhou energy also seemed far from perfect. Perhaps Yue Tui was naturally unsuited for this subject.
Becoming a Fuzhoushi, possessing an incredible amount of strength, then increasing it gradually… The original blueprint for his future has now all come to nothing. From the inside out, Fan Tong was in a dispirited state.
If he was to forever be a commoner in this world, remaining in the lowest social class, his life was honestly discouraging. Even if he could become a , all he could do was make money. He got to live in a world filled with magic and fantastical beings, but he was useless in everything. That really was no fun at all.
And so, when they met up with Luo Shi in front of campus, Fan Tong still wore a bleak expression, with no intentions on revitalizing his spirits.
“What happened to him?”
Startled, Luo Shi turned towards Yue Tui and asked him a question. Yue Tui gave him a simple explanation of the reason for Fan Tong’s gloominess.
“No talent for Shufa, an inability to read out Fuzhou… Fan Tong, you’re pitiful.”
Fan Tong was bowled over by Luo Shi’s adding insult to injury.
“Since it’s like this, shouldn’t you work harder on your Wushu? Putting effort into practicing Wushu produces results too, so you still have some hope, right?”
Luo Shi’s suggestion completely failed to make Fan Tong happier. Wushu was the first subject Fan Tong ruled out because he believed that he wasn’t made for Wushu. Now having to pick it back up and treat it as his only hope was a bit too depressing.
Sigh, Eastern City doesn’t teach subjects from Luo Yue, so they only have Shufa, Fuzhou, and Wushu. Otherwise, didn’t they say there’s magic and curses over at Luo Yue? Perhaps he could learn those. As for Luo Yue’s swordsmanship classes, since there’s a sword involved, there’s no hope in that area either.
“So, let’s go pick out a suitable weapon for you. If you have a good weapon, you’ll start off at a more advantageous place. Who knows, maybe you’ll learn Wushu unexpectedly well.”
No way. There’s no way that’ll happen. Rather than practicing Wushu, I think practicing escape techniques would probably be more productive.
Naturally, Luo Shi was the one leading them to the weapon store. On the way there, Fan Tong’s mood slightly improved. He’d heard that this world’s weapons knew how to speak, which was certainly worth a look. He treated this as an opportunity to see the world.
“Luo Shi, what about your weapon?”
Fan Tong couldn’t help but be curious. With Luo Shi’s status, it was only right for him to possess an extremely high quality weapon.
“I specialize in Fuzhou, so I don’t have a weapon.”
As Luo Shi said this, he took out a long strip with symbols engraved on it and continued speaking.
“Honestly speaking, I just use this most of the time, but this isn’t a weapon. It’s called , and it’s primarily used as an amplifier. It strengthens the effectiveness of Fuzhou and activates Fuzhou of higher difficulty, but it uses up a lot of energy, so I generally don’t use it much.”
Finishing his explanation, he put away the Fu Yin. It seemed the object couldn’t speak, so Fan Tong was a bit disappointed. But remembering that he’ll see tons of them at the store, Fan Tong acceded.
So far, he hadn’t really seen the special weapons here. Most of the students he normally saw didn’t have their own weapons yet, or they didn’t show them off for some reason. Plus he’d only gone to Wushu combat class once…
As for people who should have good weapons, Luo Shi said he didn’t use one; Ling Shi also uses Fuzhou, but he’s so skilled that he doesn’t need paper. In contrast, he wasn’t sure if Yin Shi was trying to be funny or something, but last time, he’d only taken out a fruit knife to mess around, so Fan Tong still hadn’t seen a talking weapon up until now.
He seemed to have discussed the type of weapon he wanted with Yue Tui before. He remembered Yue Tui saying that a normal weapon was fine, that even an inferior one was okay. Fan Tong still didn’t understand what Yue Tui was thinking.
They arrived at the weapon store before long. Judging from the storefront, the shop probably had quite a long history. When Luo Shi brought them inside, there were no other customers. The owner even hung a sign on the door saying they were on break after they went in.
“Lord Luo Shi, please take your time and browse all you like.”
This… is this is what they call “booking the entire theater”? Sure enough, those with status do things differently from ordinary people…
The owner of the weapon store seemingly wanted to let them choose on their own, so after greeting them, he sat down behind the front desk. Luo Shi then put on some special gloves he found in the store and began explaining.
“Weapons with intelligence are mostly kept in the storeroom in the back. They can speak and also have their own thoughts. Every weapon’s personality is different. When you touch one, it will begin conversing with you. One aspect it examines is your strength; another aspect is whether or not it likes you, which it determines by means of conversation. Hm – although building up a good image so the weapon likes you is very important, it’s still better to express your real thoughts. Otherwise, if you don’t get along in the future, it’s not such a smart idea anymore. It’s better not to trick others into master recognition.”
“These weapons need to undergo a master recognition ceremony in order to bring out their greatest assets, and also, if the weapon refuses to recognize you as its master, the owner won’t sell it to you. It’s possible for one person to possess more than one weapon as long as the weapons get along with each other. There’s no problem on the amount of weapons you like carrying, but if they can’t stand each other, the one who’s inconvenienced is you.”
Sounds so bothersome. Isn’t it just a tool to make yourself stronger? Why do you still have to cultivate interpersonal relationships and go about it like you need to win its favor…
“The glove I’m wearing now has an isolation effect. Later I’ll be in charge of handing you the weapons so you can try them. There are many weapons, so we’ll probably be able to find one suitable for you. It’s just that it might take some time.”
So you want to act as the salesperson and serve us? I’m honored.
“Let’s go to the storeroom then.”
And so, Fan Tong and Yue Tui followed Luo Shi to the storeroom.
The storeroom’s lights shone dimly. The lit area was filled with the sound of voices talking.
“So bright! You scared me to death! I’m sleeping, you know!”
“Did some customers arrive? Did some customers arrive? I’ve already been unsellable for a long time.”
“I beg you, please don’t look at me. I don’t want to leave my dear family yet – “
There were weapons of all kinds in the storeroom. Though there might not have been a thousand, there were at least a hundred. Even if each weapon only spoke a single sentence, it was already enough to make the room unbearably noisy. How could anyone choose a weapon when it was so noisy? This really was a big problem, and even Yue Tui’s forehead had wrinkled up.
“Hey hey, what do you think of these customers?
“You can’t tell what they’re like just by looking at them. Are you asking what I think about their appearances? The master of my dreams should be a beautiful girl – “
“There is one, isn’t that one a bishojo?”
“Can’t you see that he’s wearing the isolation glove?! He’s helping others choose, not here to buy anything!”
Luo Shi’s expression was kind of dark. The reason for this was probably because he’d been mistakenly thought of as a bishojo again. He was obviously wearing well-fitting clothes, and you can tell just by looking that he didn’t have a chest. These weapons really didn’t have any eyes.
Nn… from the weapons’ designs, it doesn’t seem like they have eyes or mouths, so exactly what do they use to see, and what do they use to speak?
“This place is very sinister. I can’t tell which weapon is speaking…”
For once, Fan Tong’s quiet complaints weren’t twisted by the curse. After hearing them, Yue Tui gave a response.
“It’s not like that. It’s really easy to tell them apart. I can hear which weapon is speaking.”
You really can’t be human…
“When that bishounen looks at me, I feel my heart beating so quickly!”
Bishounen? Is it Yue Tui? Because Luo Shi is a bishojo… in any case, there’s no way it could be me.
“You need to have the spirit of a sword! How could you be taken captive with a single glance? You should be pickier about choosing your lifelong happiness!”
“It’s because you’re like this that you’re unable to find your match! How many years has it been?”
Hey… about that, we came to find partners for battle, not for blind dates and marriage proposals, okay?
“So noisy. I’ll call the owner to deal with this.”
It seemed as if Luo Shi was also bothered by the noise, so he promptly left the storeroom to call the owner.
Someone who sells weapons must have some method of dealing with them, right? Everyone had this thought. When Luo Shi brought back the owner, the latter clapped his hands, cleared his throat, and promptly began to shout at the weapons.
“Quiet down! Quiet down! Lord Luo Shi is here; you can’t be disrespectful!”
They didn’t expect his shouting to make the inside of the storeroom even noisier instead.
“Who’d listen to you? Get lost.”
“Lord Luo Shi? Is he one of the five attendants of Eastern City? Could you autograph my beautiful and flawless body? This will definitely increase my value! Only, which one was he again?”
What an unimpressive store owner.
“Lord Luo Shi, I apologize. They’ve never understood proper etiquette. I probably don’t have a way to make them quiet down, but if there’s anything you want to know about weapons, I could still recommend some or introduce them to you…”
Cold sweat appeared on the owner’s forehead as he apologized fearfully. Luo Shi also had no way out.
“Forget it. You just stand nearby and see if you can help us with anything.”
So he really is a member of the ruling class. Others listen to whatever he says.
“Do you have a preference for any of the weapons? Why don’t you just randomly pick one up and see.”
“How about… a knife then.”
At least Fan Tong had held a kitchen knife before in his previous world, though he couldn’t handle it very well. He’d cut his own hand when he was trying to cut vegetables, leading to unwanted additives in his food, so he later switched to foods that he could handle without needing a kitchen knife… However, something more familiar was better, so Fan Tong promptly chose knives first.
“A knife, huh… then, why don’t you try this one out.”
Using the hand that was wearing the isolation glove, Luo Shi randomly took a knife from the shelf they were laid out in and put it into Fan Tong’s hand. When Fan Tong gripped the handle, an astonishing feeling immediately rose up. This was probably what was called interaction through direct contact.
“Puh! So weak! Not a single bit of strength! I don’t want to be with you! If I go with you, I’ll definitely have no future!”
It looked like he’d picked an arrogant knife that looked down on him. And since this knife had already clearly spoken words of rejection, Luo Shi didn’t say anything more. He immediately took the knife out of Fan Tong’s hand and put it back.
“Just… just like this?”
Fan Tong felt a bit baffled. He hadn’t done anything at all, nor did he speak a single sentence.
“The next one will be better.”
Luo Shi’s reply was also very mysterious, but he’d already handed over another knife, so Fan Tong accepted it for now.
That strange feeling of two hearts connecting came again. After he grasped the knife, it first made an “nn” sound, it was probably in the process of evaluating his state of being. Then, Luo Shi asked for his opinion first.
“Fan Tong, what do you think of this knife?”
He originally wanted to say “pretty good,” but he didn’t expect that what he said would become like this. The knife he was holding immediately became furious.
“You’re nothing special yourself! Also, I don’t want to have a master who’s called ! Then everyone will say I am a knife who belongs to ! It sounds terrible! If you want to be picky about other people, you should check to see if you have the qualifications for it first!”
This knife seemed to have parted with Fan Tong on bad terms as well. Luo Shi wordlessly put the knife away and then sighed.
“I think knives probably aren’t very suitable. Why don’t we try a different kind of weapon?”
No, that’s not the problem. I don’t think the problem is that they aren’t suitable… you really can’t tell what the problem is?
During all this, Yue Tui stood on the sidelines watching the commotion. He also glanced at the weapons on the shelves from time to time but seemed to have no intention of participating in weapon selection.
“Let’s try swords this time. Here, take it.”
Luo Shi took a sword from the sword rack and handed it to Fan Tong, who reluctantly accepted it.
After being grasped in Fan Tong’s hand, this sword immediately began speaking in a slightly arrogant manner.
“Look at the lines on my body, then look at my design and my luster. What do you think of me?”
Someone who asked these kinds of questions probably wanted to receive praise. Fan Tong didn’t know whether to honestly voice his thoughts or not. In the end, he chose to praise the sword, but the words he said became like this:
“How terrible. Your lines are coarse, your design is garish, and your luster is an eyesore. It’s my first time seeing such an ugly sword.”
Saying this kind of thing really wasn’t his original intention.
After listening to his words, the sword immediately went crazy.
“I don’t want a master with such a vulgar mouth! Go find someone more qualified than me!”
What a coincidence. I, too, don’t want such a narcissistic sword. Why don’t we go our separate ways…
Luo Shi put back the deranged sword and helplessly fixed his gaze on Fan Tong.
“Fan Tong, is it truly impossible for that mouth of yours to say anything nice?”
Being asked that question, naturally Fan Tong felt utterly wronged.
You definitely know it’s the curse’s fault, yet you still ask me this —
“Fan Tong, even if that sword really looked a bit coarse, with a slightly garish design and a luster that didn’t look that great, there’s no need for you to tell it that. Isn’t it all right for you to just say it in your heart…?”
Yue Tui commented, using a tone of voice that showed his sympathy for the sword.
So you completely agree with my criticisms after my words were reversed. Your aesthetic standards are quite high, aren’t they?
“Yue Tui, what about you? Why don’t you pick out a weapon too?”
There was a thick air of hopelessness on Fan Tong’s side. Luo Shi simply turned to Yue Tui, planning to select a weapon for the latter.
“Eh? No, I don’t need one. It doesn’t matter…”
Seeing that Luo Shi’s attention was on himself, Yue Tui immediately waved his hands in refusal. However, Luo Shi had already randomly picked out a knife and shoved it into his hand.
“It won’t hurt to look around. Isn’t it always an inconvenience, not having a weapon?”
As the knife was already in his hand, Yue Tui involuntarily gripped it. But the strange thing was that not a second later, the knife let out a bloodcurdling scream.
“Wah! Let me go! Remove your hand! Bloody murderer—bloody murderer—help me—don’t touch me! Stay away from me—”
A knife that could scream that desperately was something unheard of. The ear-grating sound scared Luo Shi so much that he immediately took the knife back. He frantically tossed it back to its original spot and finally, the shrilly sound quieted down.
“Knife! Are you alright?”
“Hu…Sword…I’m dying. Tell Whip for me: ‘Don’t ever forget about our eternal love’”.
“Knife! Knife! You can’t die! If you die, what am I going to do? You promised me that we would go see Lunar Crescent Blade-Skies and Four Stringed Sword-Tian Luo Yan! Knife!”
Fan Tong wordlessly listened to the overdramatic act before him. He had heard those similar words somewhere before, but having swords playing it out before his eyes made him feel really uncomfortable.
“Why would it react like that? How strange.”
Luo Shi was puzzled even after much thinking. It was clear that he had trouble accepting the situation.
I’ll say, shouldn’t you be first worrying about that knife’s life or death? It’s not even speaking anymore. And the store owner over there who has been standing still for quite a long time already, shouldn’t you be over here worrying about your merchandise? It said it was dying!
“Did the knife really just die?”
Yue Tui’s expression appeared very apologetic. Ah, but if it was me, suddenly killing a knife really would be a big burden on my mind.
“Owner, is that knife dead?”
Luo Shi probably couldn’t figure it out and therefore asked the idle store owner standing at the side.
“Lord Luo Shi, you don’t have to worry. The problems during the selection process are due to the low quality of my store’s weapons. My shop is taking on all the manufacturing costs right now, but I will definitely improve it in the future.”
The owner replied in an awed manner. So they still didn’t know if it died or not. Also, the way he replied was like a heartless human trafficker.
“I don’t believe you…”
Luo Shi grabbed a sword from another shelf and gave it to Yue Tui. The same sort of situation happened once again.
“Ah—no—someone save me—let me go! Please release me! Don’t be like this! I’m begging you—”
Hearing it, it appeared that…well, nothing.
Yue Tui quickly handed the sword back to Luo Shi, and the latter’s frown grew deeper.
“How is this possible…”
“Luo Shi, I really don’t need one.”
Yue Tui tried hard insisting that he didn’t need a weapon, but it seemed like Luo Shi was still unable to accept it.
“I don’t believe it. We should try one more time. This time we’ll find one of better quality.”
Immediately after he said those words, the weapons in the warehouse that had witnessed two victims’ sacrifice became fearful.
“Don’t select me! I’m just a rotten sword! I won’t be able to stand this torment!”
“Don’t put me in that person’s hands! Don’t do such a cruel thing to me! The elderly me won’t be able to survive!”
“Don’t come over here—the bow opposite of me is pretty good! I can’t compare to him! Select him!”
“How dare you try to harm me despite our years of friendship!”
A crowd of panic-stricken weapons began to yell at the same time. The volume and force of their shouts was astonishing.
“Luo Shi, forget about it; they are that scared…”
Yue Tui said it once again, and this time Luo Shi reluctantly nodded his head and the storm quieted down.
Congratulations Yue Tui, this way you won’t become a weapon killer.
Although he had given up on getting Yue Tui a weapon, Luo Shi’s mood sank very low. Not knowing the reason for the sword’s fear was very frustrating. Under these circumstances, the one who was responsible for answering questions was obviously the owner again.
“Owner, why did that happen again? Why would it be like this…”
I’m pretty sure the owner doesn’t know either; don’t make it difficult for him.
“This…I’ve only seen this sort of situation happen to one other person…I’m really not sure of the reason…”
“Another person? Who?”
Luo Shi immediately asked; Fan Tong was also very curious.
So this sort of extreme situation actually happened more than once. How mysterious. What kind of person was the other customer? This kind of thing surely needs some investigation.
“It was Lord Yin Shi. The last time Lord Yin Shi visited my shop, he also made it very noisy and chaotic…ah…yes, it was a similar situation…in order to placate the weapons that had been traumatized, we even had to close shop for three days…”
…Lord Yin Shi? Are you sure the reason the weapons were traumatized wasn’t his strange way of speaking?
“Ah! Lord Yin Shi? Don’t bring up that terrifying man!”
“Right! I almost died back then! Even now, I still tremble whenever his name is mentioned!”
“But he agreed to my request and left an inscription on my body as a souvenir. I think he’s a good man…”
An inscription as a souvenir? What did he inscribe? Yin Shi was here?
Luo Shi was confused and surprised when he heard the name.
“Then how did you resolve the situation? Did he even buy anything?”
Yes, yes. What did he leave with? A fruit knife?
“Yin Shi asked if there were any broken weapons around. He then picked out a knife and left looking very satisfied…”
People usually return broken things, yet Lord Yin Shi had deliberately bought a broken knife…it definitely was something Lord Yin Shi would do.
“A broken weapon? It wouldn’t have any attack power right? Did he buy that knife so he could use it like a stick and beat people up?”
Luo Shi could not understand at all. However, if he had been asking the owner, then his questions were a little bit too hard for the owner to answer. Instead, he should have asked the perpetrator himself.
Also, wasn’t Yin Shi the head of Shufa Xuan? What could he do with something that had nothing to do with Shufa?
“If you sell broken weapons, I would like to have one.”
Not only did Yue Tui not exclude broken weapons, he even wanted to take one home. Fan Tong and Luo Shi gave him a slightly strange look.
There’s another person here who wants a broken weapon. Why are broken things so popular these days?
“That kind of thing is not good!”
“But I think it’ll be fine. I can’t even hold the weapons here anyways, so I’ll just buy a broken one. It doesn’t matter if it’s a knife or a sword.”
The situation probably only could be solved this way. After making sure things were unlikely to change either way, Luo Shi looked at Fan Tong.
Luo Shi, I feel that your gaze is slightly vicious…
“If it’s like this, then Fan Tong, you must pick out a weapon. Otherwise, wouldn’t we have come here for nothing?”
Is it necessary to be this persistent? In my opinion, if I wanted to increase my survival rate, wouldn’t buying armor be more useful than buying weapons?
“Fan Tong, do your best.”
Yue Tui smiled at him. Fan Tong always thought that saying “do your best” at this sort of time was quite strange. It didn’t seem appropriate. Yue Tui, you actually didn’t learn the Eastern City’s language very well, did you?
“There are this many weapons here; there will definitely be one suitable for you!”
I don’t even know if we are here to pick out a wife, a pet, or a battle partner anymore. You couldn’t possibly be thinking that we won’t be leaving until we pick one out, right? I’m hungry! Please just let me off!
It was already past mealtime, and the number of Fan Tong’s failures reached one hundred sixty-eight.
Luo Shi appeared noticeably more impatient. In contrast, Yue Tui had lots of patience and did not express even a bit of restlessness.
Fan Tong was already feeling very tired. Naturally, being rejected by one hundred sixty-eight weapons meant being mocked and ridiculed numerous times. If just choosing a weapon was already this hard, then Fan Tong was afraid that he’d have a bleak future ahead of him if he wanted to follow the path of Wushu.
Among the many weapons, Shufa-related weapons were not considered because Fan Tong had no way of practicing Shufa. If he’d brought back a Shufa staff, then that would simply be a joke. They came here today so it would be more convenient to pick out a weapon used for Wushu, but up ‘till now they’d made no progress.
“Fan Tong, why are you so difficult to deal with!”
Luo Shi’s attitude right now could be called shame turning into anger. Fan Tong felt that he was very innocent of all wrongdoings on the matter.
He was given the cold shoulder because of his lack of strength ― there was no solution for that problem. His mouth angered others until they left ― that was the curse’s fault. They weren’t things he could control, and he’d already tried his best…
“We might as well have you try using this mop!”
Enraged, Luo Shi randomly grabbed a mop that was in the corner and shoved it into Fan Tong’s hand. Fan Tong really didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at this.
“Hmm? Has someone taken a liking to me?”
The voice that suddenly rang out caused everyone to be silent for a moment.
This mop can speak…
“Th-this mop is also a self-aware weapon?”
Luo Shi’s eyes widened with surprise. He’d thought it was only a simple tool used to sweep the store.
This mop, no, this horsetail whisk doesn’t seem to want to promote itself. A horsetail whisk seems to be something like a feather duster, isn’t it? Its position isn’t too different from where a mop would be, right?
At this time, Luo Shi suddenly laughed in a slightly scheming manner. He began speaking before Fan Tong had the chance to think things through properly.
“Fan Tong, do you like this ‘weapon’?”
“I like it.”
Huh? H-hold on…
“So you really do like it. Then, do you want to buy it?”
W-wait a minute, don’t make me reverse my words! Ah! I should have shaken my head!
“Nn? You want to buy me?”
No way! Hurry up and reject me!
“Fan Tong, tell us your thoughts on that weapon. Ask it if it wants to go with you.”
“I think that holding this kind of weapon would definitely make me look very handsome, and it completely matches my ideals. I knew I would like it very much from the the beginning. I feel that it is very outstanding. Please do not reject me.”
Wrong wrong wrong! Completely wrong! Every sentence is completely wrong!
“Wah, I’m so moved. You’ve made me wake up completely. You’re the first person in a long time who has seen my true value. Have I finally met a kindred spirit? Even though you’re just an ordinary human with a slightly weird name, seeing as you have such sharp eyes, it won’t be a problem if you want me to recognize you as my master…”
This is a big misunderstanding! Stop being pretentious and conceited. I was criticizing you earlier, you know! I don’t want a mop ― even if it’s a horsetail whisk, I feel the same way!
“That’s wonderful. Fan Tong, it’s willing!”
Luo Shi seemed to be happy for him; he even smiled while saying those words to Fan Tong.
…! Luo Shi, what’s the meaning of this! You definitely know that my words are being reversed; you definitely know!
Yue Tui looked at Luo Shi, then looked at Fan Tong, and then looked at the “mop” in Fan Tong’s hand. It was a while before he found his voice. He squeezed out a stiff smile and congratulated Fan Tong.
“Fan Tong, congratulations.”
I know that inside you feel that this situation is very strange. It’s okay; you don’t need to force yourself to speak insincerely. Your expression is too fake – you obviously also feel that a mop isn’t a good weapon. Maybe you even think that there’s something wrong with my head because I feel that a mop is great…the point is that this isn’t worth congratulating either! I was definitely set-up by Luo Shi!
“Then let’s hurry up and get the master recognition ceremony over with. I want to go back to sleep.”
This mop seems to think it’s some kind of hotshot, but it’s really just a mop!
Then again, a mop…how do you use that in combat?
The so-called master recognition ceremony is actually very simple. After exchanging names in the circle provided by the weapon store, the ceremony was considered done. Fan Tong originally thought that he would have to give a drop of blood or something like that, but it turned out that only a verbal pledge was required. He wasn’t too clear on what kind of effect the ceremony would have either.
However, the ceremony was more like a legitimate marriage ceremony. There were even exactly three witnesses, unreservedly saying congratulations, congratulations…completely ignoring the fact that his expression contained no happiness in it at all.
“My name is Fan Tong…”
I really don’t know if I should be happy or sad that I’m not saying “My name isn’t Fan Tong” at this moment.
“My name is Puhahaha.”
What’s your name? Can…can you say it again?
Standing nearby, both Luo Shi and Yue Tui had extremely strange expressions. Fan Tong wasn’t sure if they were forcibly suppressing the urge to go “puhahaha” or not. What kind of a weird name is that?! Who named you?! What terrible taste! Where exactly do weapons’ names come from?!
“The master recognition ceremony is completed. Congratulations, Mr. Fan Tong.”
Stop congratulating me. Also, Mr. Fan Tong sounds kind of awkward. Can’t you call me Mr. Fan?
“Oh, right. After acquiring me, you can’t get any other weapons. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Holy crap! Does this count as embarking on a hopeless adventure? Yue Tui, hurry up and hold out your hand and make this mop die! It even wants me to be tied to it for my entire life!
“Fan Tong, your weapon loves you so much. Its desire to monopolize you is very strong.”
Luo Shi, why such a gossipy tone of voice? And also, mops don’t count as weapons at all, so stop calling it a weapon and carelessly raising its status, okay?
“All right then, this weapon costs two hundred strings.”
Two hundred strings!
Two hundred strings? But it’s just a mop! But it’s just a mop―
“Two hundred strings?”
Luo Shi probably also felt that it cost a bit too much, so he hesitated a bit. But since the weapon had already recognized Fan Tong as its master, he couldn’t return it.
“Lord Luo Shi, this price was set during the Zhao Era. This mo…horsetail whisk counts as an antique, so two hundred strings is reasonable and fair.”
You’re lying! You were obviously about to say “mop” earlier! Also, you just found out today that it talks. Before today, you’ve only used it as an ordinary mop! There’s a shady businessman here! This shop is a scam―
“Are the weapons in this world all this inexpensive?”
After Fan Tong asked this, Luo Shi shot a glance at him. The latter seemed to feel that there really was no saving that mouth of his. In contrast, Yue Tui looked like he really wanted to fuss over Fan Tong and check if he had a fever. Only “Puhahaha” agreed with Fan Tong’s words.
“Indeed, two hundred strings is letting you off easy. Don’t you know that you’re taking advantage of me? Even though being sold so cheaply makes me a bit unhappy, you look like you don’t have much money, so let’s just leave it at that.”
…Could someone please drag this mop out and give it a stomping?
“Aside from that, doesn’t this customer need a broken weapon? Since it’s broken, I don’t mind giving it to you for free. I’ll bring you to the back to pick one.”
“All right, thank you.”
Not fair―! The way I see it, this mop is clearly a broken weapon, right? Clearly, it was only made into the shape of a mop because it was made the wrong way! A mop definitely isn’t a category weapons should come in! Even if you say that Taoist priests use horsetail whisks, does this country have any Taoist priests? Does it? Are there people in this country who hold this kind of thing and walk around the streets or even on the battlefield? Are there―
Fan Tong highly suspected that the store owner decided how much to charge based on appearances. Then, should he be happy that he only differed from Yue Tui by two hundred strings?
Yue Tui followed the storeowner to the back of the store and brought back a medium-length sword. Actually, broken weapons didn’t look too different from ordinary weapons; they just couldn’t speak, lacked luster, looked a bit dim, and supposedly were harder to use. Because they did not possess intelligence, they also didn’t require a master recognition ceremony. Fan Tong actually felt quite envious looking at Yue Tui.
Broken weapons wouldn’t bicker or make trouble for him. More importantly, they were free and actually looked like weapons.
Looking at Yue Tui’s posture, Fan Tong thought Yue Tui seemed very accustomed to holding swords. It didn’t look awkward at all.
… As for how he could wield a mop naturally, that was a problem worth thinking about. It made him very unhappy to imagine that such a day would come.
“Is it really okay for you to just use a broken weapon…”
Luo Shi was still fretting. Though he was not the one using the weapon, he was still very concerned.
If you’re so peeved by Yue Tui using a broken weapon, why are you content with me getting a mop? Do mops suit me?
“I think it’s great. It feels quite easy to use.”
Yue Tui sheathed the sword. Fan Tong hadn’t seen him test the sword, so he didn’t know how Yue Tui came to that conclusion.
“I’m going to sleep. Don’t bother me.”
Puhahaha threw these words at him, then quieted down. Fortunately it didn’t snore or Fan Tong really wouldn’t know what to think.
“Dear customers, please feel free to use the two weapons as you like. The weapons from these racks are all ordinary self-aware ones, so you don’t need to worry about killing New Residents. Truthfully, soul purging weapons can’t be sold to New Residents. Only if Lord Luo Shi wanted to buy one himself could this store offer to sell them…”
Aside from on the battlefield, New Residents had no way of obtaining soul purging weapons. In contrast, every Natural Resident was allocated one. This was the advantage Eastern City gave Natural Residents.
Fan Tong had only heard that New Residents murdering Natural Residents was a very serious matter, and almost all of the murderers were executed. If New Residents used soul purging weapons to kill New Residents, however, he didn’t know how they would be dealt with.
But something the owner said still caught Fan Tong’s attention. How exactly would you attack someone with a mop? The storeowner had said something about attacking as you please, but however you look at it, it seems very difficult to cause any damage. Did he want Fan Tong to turn the mop around and use the handle to jab at people’s eyes? Is this clumsy method the only way to use the mop?
Perhaps he should ask the mop how to use it? Having to ask his own weapon for instructions, how can such a pathetic owner exist…
“Mm. There’s no need to hold back when using weapons to deal with New Residents. If they make things difficult for you again, teach them a lesson.” Luo Shi said. A feeling of powerlessness overcame Fan Tong. What can he use to teach blue tassels a lesson? He wouldn’t even be able to skin a chicken with this mop.
“Thank you for cooperating with us today. That’ll be all.”
“Yes, Lord Luo Shi. Take care.”
The store owner politely saw them out. Technically it’s dinnertime now, isn’t it? Fan Tong looked at Luo Shi somewhat expectantly.
The first thing Luo Shi did after leaving the store was to take out his Fuzhou communication charm. After it connected, he promptly struck up a conversation.
“Yin Shi, where are you now? …Oh, then I’m bringing some people back with me. If something comes up, I’ll ask you.”
The conversation was brief but puzzling.
“Let’s go. Come home with me. We’ll eat and take the chance to ask Yin Shi about why weapons reject you.”
Luo Shi spoke casually, but both Fan Tong and Yue Tui were dazed for a few seconds.
Come home… come home?
“You, you said, where are we going….”
“Shen Wang Dian, my home.”
― This is way too sudden! Lord Luo Shi―have mercy on my heart―
◎ Fan Tong’s Afterward
I wonder how many heroes, warriors or even ordinary little people dream of possessing a godly weapon. Hopefully, I’d strike the world of my prowess when wielding it. Then, when I actually use it, it’d be so strong I’d be everyone’s figure of envy and admiration. Just by obtaining such a weapon, I feel like my luck would also change for the better, and my life would also head toward a rising path of success… but of course that’s impossible at this point.
Whether it’s a mop or a horsetail whisk, it makes no difference. Once I whip out this weapon, if everyone’s not gaping with their mouths wide open, they’d be laughing their ass off. Maybe it’d distract enemies like this, but if I relied on this kind of visual effect to achieve victory, I’d still be disappointed in myself…
That Tractor Teacher from Wushu combat class said we should go to class after we get weapons. Does that mean, he will teach us according to the weapons we chose?
If so, what he’s going to teach me? If he’s actually done research on mop techniques, I will never call him Tractor Teacher again. I’ll call him Terrific Teacher instead.
What’s worse is that, aside from its strange name, this mop won’t allow me to obtain another weapon.
So even if I’m fortunate enough to become famous in the future, my nickname will still be closely related to mops… like, “The Mop Knight”, “Rice Bucket with a Mop” , “Mop Alien”, etc., stirring up the world with a mop in hand…
Can I throw it away? The most basic way to deal with it is to get rid of it, but it doesn’t seem like I can throw it away anytime soon.
Maybe I should try getting along with it, and then asking it if it can transform into something more attractive?
Translators: Sherry, Nannyn
Proofreaders: PiKairi, Nuddles, Nannyn, Sherry