Hi guys, I hope you’re enjoying the holidays! We’re back with two True Star chapters to make up for the past few releases that got pushed back because of the domain change. We are still working on the website, so there are probably some broken images or links here and there. I just got around to putting up the cover images for all our novels yesterday, so hopefully it doesn’t look too bare now. In any case, enjoy these chapters!
I noticed that some of you want a new poll, so I finally closed that old one. Ahem, yes we’re behind on a lot of stuff. As for the results of that old poll, you’ve all probably looked at it for so long that you don’t need me to summarize them, but I’m going to do it anyways. 162 of you said yes, you would go on a date with Charles and 81 said no. I mean since Charles is rich, you could probably get some nice free stuff from him, but I wouldn’t want to go on a date with him either. Because you know, he’s a drama queen. Haha. We’ll be back next time!
Ever since Gino first laid eyes on Tang Feng, he was struck with a sense of familiarity. And strangely enough, he found that he also trusted the other to an inexplicable level. Yet despite that trust, he’d kept several things from Tang Feng. One of them was that he’d been secretly excited for the kiss scene for an entire week before they were scheduled to film it.
Another thing he’d never told Tang Feng was that he’d brushed his teeth at least four times and chewed through an entire pack of gum before the scene. He was afraid that Tang Feng would dislike him.
When he kissed Tang Feng back at the church, he was only half-immersed in his role. When he felt the other’s lips on his own, he felt as if he’d been transported back in time. At that moment, he felt as if he were a seventeen-year-old who’d just been struck with the first signs of love. His heart was racing, and he could feel the blood rushing to his head. In his panic, he couldn’t control himself and ended up biting Tang Feng.
It was the first time that he found that a kiss could be more nerve-wracking and more memorable than the actual act of love itself.
“Is this your answer? Michael Gino, you’re disgusting! You bastard! I hate you!” Lilith screamed as she launched a pillow at Gino’s head.
Gino leaned sideways and dodged the soft projectile. He’d thought about everything and came to the conclusion that Tang Feng was right. He didn’t love Lilith. He’d simply been in a rush to find someone to fill the hole Fiennes had left behind.
“Let’s break up,” he said calmly.
It was better for them to end it now than later. He didn’t want to continue living this foolishly.
“Why are you so selfish, Gino? I love you…” Lilith stared at him for several long seconds. After she processed Gino’s words, she fell onto the couch as if injured and started crying.
“Lilith, nothing will come out of our relationship even if we stay together. Since I’m the one who brought it up, I’ll take full responsibility. If the media picks up on this, I will deal with it.”
At first, they’d started dating because it was their agency’s idea. They needed to create anticipation for the movie they’d starred in, so their agency leaked to the media that they were dating. The plan was a success; they’d won the media’s undivided attention. Somewhere along the way, they truly started dating each other. Even now, Gino still had a tough time deciphering whether they had been simply acting or if they had actually loved each other.
“Aren’t you afraid that I’ll tell people? I’ll tell everyone that you’re in love with Fiennes Tang! A dead man who’s a decade older than you!”
Gino chuckled and replied, “Lilith, you know I’m not afraid of those sorts of tactics. I don’t mind letting the world know that I love Fiennes. Also, Fiennes is not dead. He still lives in my heart, and will continue to do so for the rest of my life.”
“You’re out of your mind,” Lilith mumbled. Leaning into the couch, she rubbed at her eyes. When she removed her hand, the back of it was completely black. All her makeup had smudged into a mess.
Gino walked over and handed her a tissue. Almost ripping it out of his hand, Lilith accepted it and wiped at her face. She then reached for her bag and pulled out a mirror and a bunch of makeup. As a devotee to beauty, Lilith wanted to look beautiful no matter the situation she was in.
Fortunately, Lilith was still young. Gino knew she would never break herself over a half-serious relationship. She was a Hollywood girl.
“Fine, whatever. In any case, I’m going to marry someone who’s handsomer than you. And you’ll only have your memory of me to comfort yourself when you’re all old and lonely,” Lilith said angrily. She pulled out a tube of lipstick and retouched her lips. “We’ll break up. I hope you don’t regret it afterwards.”
“Of course I’ll regret it.” Gino smiled and shrugged. “Thank you for your good wishes.”
Lilith snapped her mirror shut and glared at Gino. She looked as if she wanted to say something else, but then pursed her lips in displeasure. She lowered her head and started storing her makeup away. She then said quietly, “I hope you can thank him for me. That man with black hair and black eyes.”
Even though Lilith had been completely drunk that night, she still remembered who’d saved her and then looked after her.
“I will, he’s a good person.” Gino understood who Lilith was referring to.
“That’s right. He’s a good person, and I am a good girl. Yet how did we both come across someone like you?” Lilith slung her bag across her shoulder and stood up. She collected herself and said, “Listen up, there better be a good reason for why we broke up. I don’t want the world to know that I lost to a man who’s already passed away. My manager will contact you about this. Also, don’t talk to me in the future!”
Lilith turned around and walked away with big strides, leaving behind a confident figure. Yet she couldn’t stop the rims of her eyes from turning red again. She quickly pulled out a pair of sunglasses and put them on.
Who hadn’t had a passionate and short-lived love back in the days of youth?
Like Lilith, those adolescents would laugh and cry, and would live on to see tomorrow.
After coming back to the United States, what Tang Feng wanted to do the most wasn’t meeting up with the people he once knew, but to take a trip around the places he’d once stayed at and look around, this included his final resting place.
His death had come in a sudden manner, so he had no idea who’d taken care of all the matters related to his death afterwards.
Had it been his manager John?
Or had it been his good friend Randa, or perhaps Leroy?
No matter who it was, they did a very good job. There hadn’t been any public broadcasts on the news or exclusive interviews with reporters. It had been a private funeral with a group of his close friends. It had been a simple and quiet affair, something that suited him perfectly. Although he didn’t know who had planned everything, fortunately, they had made sure that his grave would be open to the public afterwards.
Tang Feng thought he had a right to visit his own grave once, so he planned to visit it together with Gino over the weekend. Coincidentally, they were going on the same day as Fiennes’ birthday.
After having a talk with Gino, they’d spent two days finishing the filming of their first bed scene. Although it was described as a bed scene, the actual time they had to expose themselves in front of the camera was minimal. Tang Feng did have his pants taken off, but he was still wearing something underneath. Not to mention, he was also wearing the long and bulky monk robe on top.
For the entire scene, Gino merely held himself above Tang Feng and simulated a few movements. However, the director was a perfectionist and asked the two of them to repeat the scene several times, with a different set of movements each time. The director was also particular about which direction they should face and whether they needed to look at the camera and who should look at the camera.
Whenever the director came up with a new idea, they had to repeat the scene. After several repeats, Gino was embarrassed to find that he was physically reacting. He could feel himself getting hard, but fortunately, the monk robe was loose enough to hide his reaction. Even though no one else had noticed, Tang Feng was the exception. Gino had been rubbing himself on him back and forth for the better part of the day. If it weren’t for the obvious look of apology on Gino’s face, Tang Feng would have assumed that the other was taking advantage of the situation and doing it on purpose.
For the entire scene, the two of them mainly exposed their legs, and only up to their thighs at that.
The director didn’t have any plans to turn the film into an erotic film. Regarding the relationship and actual nudity in the film, the director had chosen to turn up the intensity in a gradual manner. The first kiss and the first bed scene had to be controlled and subdued. Later on, it would turn more passionate as the two main characters collided more and more with each other.
“Are you all right?” After the day’s filming wrapped up, Tang Feng ran over to Gino and asked. Gino had been in the same position for quite a while now. It wouldn’t be good if he developed a problem because he was holding it in for so long.
“Do I look like all right to you? If you give me a tree, I’m pretty sure I would start humping it right now,” Gino joked crudely. After talking with Tang Feng a bit more, Gino made an excuse that he had to go change and ran off to his trailer.
As for what Gino was actually doing inside his trailer, who knew?
Tang Feng snickered to himself. What was Gino going to do when the more intense scenes came around?
To avoid coming across Gino and getting himself in an awkward situation, Tang Feng left first. Today, the one picking him up was still Lu Tian Chen.
The president seemed to be in a bad mood today. When he saw Tang Feng, none of his usual “cordialness” was present, cordialness as in holding the door open for Tang Feng and asking where he wanted to go before heading home.
“Get in.” Lu Tian Chen didn’t bother holding the door for Tang Feng. He also didn’t ask Tang Feng where he wanted to go. Right after Tang Feng got in, Lu Tian Chen put the car in drive and sped away.
Only an idiot would fail to see that Lu Tian Chen was angry, but Tang Feng couldn’t recall what he’d done to make the man angry. Was Lu Tian Chen angry at the fact that his “loving breakfast” the other day had given him an upset stomach?
“Are you feeling okay? It was my first time making breakfast. Sorry.” Out of politeness, Tang Feng felt that he should apologize for making the brave man beside him eat everything he’d made.
Lu Tian Chen didn’t reply; he outright ignored Tang Feng.
“Are you angry at me?” Tang Feng tried asking.
Lu Tian Chen ignored him again. This time, Tang Feng was a bit angry himself. Since when had he ever had to lower himself this much? One couldn’t act too weak around Lu Tian Chen or Charles, otherwise they’d eat you for breakfast.
Tang Feng smiled and said, “Keeping your anger all bottled up is going to lead to health problems. I hope you’d take care of your health, President Lu.”
“I’m not angry. I’m only jealous.” Lu Tian Chen’s answer was direct and simple. A calm and logical conclusion that nevertheless shocked Tang Feng.
For the sake of convenience, Gino had rented an apartment near the set as well. When Tang Feng went to visit, Gino had just finished taking a shower. His hair was still dripping wet when he went to open the door.
“Did you go for a swim in the ocean?” Tang Feng chuckled when he noticed. “Am I intruding?”
“No, of course not.” Gino pulled the other through the door and shut it firmly. To an onlooker who didn’t know any better, the speed at which he welcomed Tang Feng in made it seem as if he had some ulterior motives in mind.
“Find a seat. There’s juice and milk in the fridge. The coffee is over there. And that’s the bar. Help yourself,” Gino rattled off while walking off to another room.
Tang Feng grabbed a glass of juice and sat on the couch. He found the remote and turned on the TV. He didn’t know what Gino watched while he was at home, but maybe a bunch of horror movies?
Understandably, he was a bit surprised to see his own name come up on the screen. The movie playing was Life of Luxury, which he’d starred in as the lead actor. He’d never expected Gino to be watching his films, just like he hadn’t expected Gino to have liked him in the past.
After getting changed, Gino walked out of his room. Tang Feng was already several minutes into the movie. Staring at the TV screen, he asked, “Do you like Fiennes’ movies?”
The image of him on the screen was still young, barely into his thirties. It was an age when men were at their most charming. Tang Feng had to admit that he wasn’t as eye-catching in the past as he was now. Fiennes’ appearance could be described as cultured. Luckily, it was something he’d retained throughout his life.
“He’s an amazing actor.” It was rare for Gino to let go of the chance to make a joke. He sat down quietly beside Tang Feng, eyes drawn to the image of Fiennes on the screen.
Tang Feng took in everything.
Gino truly liked Fiennes. Gino truly liked the past him!
“When I first met him, to be honest, I didn’t like him all that much. You could even say that he irritated me.” Gino chuckled, and described the circumstances in which he’d met Fiennes. Tang Feng already knew what he was going to say, but it was different hearing Gino’s perspective on the events.
Gino first saw Fiennes at a film festival. At the time, both Gino and Fiennes had been nominated for Best Actor. Gino’s debut performance was very good, if not spectacular. He had chosen a challenging role in a horror movie for his first appearance. Film critics and the audience alike lauded his acting in the movie. He had practically become famous overnight.
Nevertheless, it was obvious that the festival committee liked Fiennes more. Fiennes had already won several awards abroad at international film festivals; it was inevitable that he would win Best Actor this time around as well. Gino could only watch as the trophy that he most certainly deserved sprouted wings and flew away.
“I firmly believed that the Best Actor should’ve gone to me and not to Fiennes. I hated him because of that. At the after party, I couldn’t help myself and said some nasty words to him.” Gino shook his head while recounting the night. He couldn’t stop a rueful smile from spreading on his face. “Just thinking about it makes me want to hit myself for how immature and laughable I was acting. I was young, so I believed that everything rightfully belonged to me. But looking at it now, I think my performance was child’s play compared to his.”
“No, I think you acted very well,” Tang Feng blurted out. He quickly added, “I’ve seen your debut movie. I think you did quite well for a newcomer. I could feel the tension in your acting. Most horror movies just go with the established method and rely on exaggerated expressions, but you expressed the inner fear perfectly. I think it was great.”
A film festival committee was made up of a group of different people, and unfortunately, different people had different tastes.
Gino was too young back then. It was difficult for young actors to win awards if their acting wasn’t downright stunning to the entire public. There were many reasons for that.
One, the judges probably felt that it wasn’t right for someone to win an award right after debuting. After all, there were plenty of actors and actresses who were waiting in line in front of them.
Two, if a newcomer were to win Best Actor or Best Actress, the road ahead of them would become too easy. Would they still struggle and pursue their dreams with as much passion as before?
Lastly, personal interests played a big part in the awards. As people, the judges couldn’t help but be biased. If they were to award someone such a big trophy, would they still be able to put forth acting of the same caliber next time? Suspicions like that ran through their minds all the time.
A good performance wasn’t enough to win Best Actor. Tang Feng experienced plenty of that in his past life.
“Exactly, I thought my acting was quite good as well. In any case, that was how I came across Fiennes. As an immature kid, I butted heads with him at every turn. At that time, Fiennes was pretty influential in Hollywood. He had his own resources and a place to exert his power. If he’d wanted to teach me a lesson, it would have been easy as cake for him. But he never did. He only argued with me occasionally.”
Gino started laughing, but abruptly ended it with a sigh. He rested his chin on his hand and said, “I know he didn’t like me, because I was an impolite and stupid idiot.”
“The reason you argued with him… Was it because you wanted to catch his attention?” Tang Feng asked tentatively.
Gino nodded, but he’d come to that realization too late. When he’d finally understood his feelings for Fiennes, the man had passed away.
It had happened in the blink of an eye. A star that had burned the brightest in the sky fell down to earth in mere seconds. He was still reeling from the aftereffects even now. He’d been in love with Fiennes for seven years. How stupid was he to have just discovered it now?
“It’s already too late now. I didn’t even have time to apologize to him. I didn’t even have time to…to tell him that I’ve collected all his movies and every poster imaginable of him. I’ve gone to many of his movie premieres. I’ve even secretly asked after him from other people.” Gino’s eyes glazed over with a layer of tears as he stared at the man on the TV, a man who had left the world forever. Despite the smile on his face, he was choking up over his words.
“I didn’t even have time to tell him that I love him. Do you know? The more I learn about him, the more I fall in love with him. But I’m an idiot. I didn’t even have the chance to confess.” Giving in to the tears, Gino covered his face with his hands.
Tang Feng wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He comforted, “He’ll know. He’s listening to every word you’re saying.” He ended it there and sighed.
He wouldn’t tell Gino about his secret. Even if he did, he wasn’t sure Gino would believe him.
It wasn’t the first time that someone had confessed to him, but Gino’s confession made him feel both warm and remorseful. In the heat of passion, one person might confess to another on the spur of the moment, or maybe it was simply love at first sight. Often, these kinds of impulsive love left as quickly as they came. A strong and passionate start often led to a gloomy and tired end that eventually petered out.
For seven years, Gino’s one-sided love for him continued to trickle like a sluggish stream. The people who had once loved him had become distant due to his continuous hospitalization. Others had left him due to societal pressure. And others still, had buried their feelings for him at the news of his death.
In the half-year since his death, how many people truly missed him?
He didn’t know that Gino had loved, and still loves, him. He also didn’t know why Gino had fallen in love with him, but that was the reality he was faced with right now.
Fiennes Tang had already died. Someone who had departed the world shouldn’t bring harm to the living.
“Gino, do you love Lilith?” Tang Feng asked.
“I can’t face her. After Fiennes passed away, I tried dating a girl instead. Lilith is a great girl. It’s just…I can’t forget about Fiennes,” Gino replied, his emotions gradually calming down. Tang Feng exited out of the movie and switched to a random channel on the TV.
“I know I’m not in a position to say anything, but Fiennes isn’t coming back anymore. If he knows that you’re suffering because of his death, I’m sure he would be racked with guilt. Gino, let him live on in your memories. You need to look ahead of you. Pull yourself together. I don’t want to spend another morning just filming a bed scene with you.” Tang Feng tried to cheer Gino up in his own way.
“Sometimes, you act a lot like him. You’re kind to everyone you meet, but that also means you’re distancing yourself from everyone. Because of that, I really liked picking on Fiennes and angering him. He would glare at me and tell me off, but those were the only moments when I felt that he was truly living and breathing.”
Gino glanced at Tang Feng. With a rare serious expression, he said, “You’re still young. Don’t suppress yourself so much.”
“Now it’s your turn to lecture me, is it?” Tang Feng chuckled. “Then don’t fall in love with me like you did with Fiennes. I don’t want to be a substitute.”
Would he be a substitute? Or would he be the true Fiennes?”
It wasn’t important in any case. Tang Feng wanted Gino to step out of Fiennes’ shadow. He wanted Gino to cry because he was reminiscing the past, and not because he was suffering. How long would it take for Gino to be himself again?
“I forgot to ask, did something happen recently?” Tang Feng asked. Gino wouldn’t start acting strange for no reason. Lilith’s words couldn’t have affected him to this point.
“It’s almost his birthday.”
Tang Feng blinked. He’d completely forgotten about his own birthday.
“Then why don’t we go visit him?” Tang Feng suggested. He rather wanted to see his own grave.
Hi all! Sorry for the website downtime!!! Our original host at liamak.net deleted the domain and forgot we were hosted under the same server (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)
Came as a surprise to us too, so we had to move all the files to a new server/domain. Took a while to get the site running again, thus the downtime. There also wasn’t a way for us redirect the old url, so apologies for all the inconveniences.
Will update with new releases soon!
Hi guys, things came up and I’m quite busy at the moment with tests, presentations, and projects. They tend to pile up on each other around the middle of November. Because of that, I didn’t manage to translate anything this time around. Hope you understand. We shall be back next time!